Jenny and I were together for nearly 8 years. She was my best friend through so many trials and tribulations. She was my rock, and a new foundation. 

We met in 2011 when a friend of mine suggested I might have a lot in common with her and that I should hit her up on PoF. We went out on a really fun date in Vancouver, and talked at a park where bats were going mad in the twilight.

We really came together in June 2011 when I picked her up from Job Corps out near Astoria. It was only a few weeks and we were living together.

We did everything together. We were everything we needed. And I became codependent on her when I began to become really stressed out at work. Then, when I needed emotional support, I couldn't bring myself to ask for it, and I became resentful. 

After Robert killed Lila I felt very alone for many months. I was lost in thought for months on end, and I felt Jenny didn't want to hear about my sorrows and my grief. I worried and wondered whether I could repeat what he did and it grew into fear that maybe I really could snap and hurt someone. I felt like I chose Jenny over Robert in a few instances and that sticks with me. I felt angry and resentful about that when he and Lila were gone.

Thus, I ended our relationship, and broke her heart.

She's doing amazingly well now with a beautiful little daughter and her own home.

I am sorry that I wasn't yet able to communicate my needs or my disabilities. I am sorry that I let my intrusive thoughts and my cycles of behavior push me away from the companionship we once shared.